Dear Nigerian Scammer

Photo borrowed from this guy, who has a good scam response story.

Dear Nigerian Scammer,

It was such a surprise to hear from you the other day! I mean, how long has it been since that whole big Who Misplaced All The Money incident?! Oh, wait, that's right -- NEVER! Ah, the memories. :) Those sure were some good nonexistent times, weren't they?

Just a little tip -- If you tell me you are holding my misdirected check for $300, there's actually a small chance I'll bite....but a misplaced cheque for $300,000?? Get out!

No, seriously. Get out of my inbox.

I mean, it's nothing personal or anything. You might be a really nice person, just trying to make ends meet in a tough situation. A modern day Jean Valjean, if you will. It's possible. But I'm kinda busy right now and don't want to have to deal with some big fiasco and lose all my money and have my identity stolen and all that. So, thanks for the nice email and all your helpfulness, but leave me alone now, ok? I sure appreciate it! :)

Anyhoo, gotta run! Good luck with all your scamming and stuff!

xoxo,

Jujyfruit

PS. You staying warm enough over there? It's still really cold here! Brrrr!