Friday, August 28, 2009

Yearbook Yourself

In case you've been wondering, even though my last post said I was "going back to bed" I haven't actually been sleeping this whole entire time.

I probably could have. (I probably should have.)

But, no, little sleeping has occurred. Instead, I've been working. Working and working and working. I'd post evidence but I'm too tired. (From all that working.)

Instead, let me just sit here and relax while I entertain you with photos of me from yearbooks past.

The love child of Carol Burnett and Lily Tomlin, perhaps? I'm quite liking the dark hair on me. Or perhaps it is the 20-pounds-lighter face shape I am enjoying. I'm not sure.

19601960 was a fine year for me, too. Although, getting my limp hair to do *that* on a daily basis would have been quite a challenge! (Not to mention the whole tiny waist & big pointy bosom thing.) I think my aunt might have this exact same photo in her actual yearbook. Or one that's eerily similar, anyway.

1962That ultra-feminine, be-ribboned updo is fooling no one.

1966Jujyfruit as That Girl.

1968My cousin, Hannah!

And a slightly more distant cousin.

Add braces and pimples and a skinny tie -- it's 8th grade all over again.

I smell Breck shampoo.

I smell prom.

Amy, is that you? Or is it me? I'm confused!

My MOM! (Her sweater was greenish. Remember?)

I had this hair, minus the side wisp. (And my friend had those glasses.)

See?? Actual 1990! (just oddly missing some curl on the side)

The long nails help me remember this is not my real senior picture.

If I could have gotten the left side of my own hair to swoop up as high as this, I probably would have.

This one stumps me. Long, straight hair? Off-the-shoulder top? Totally unfamiliar. (Except for that one Halloween...)

I sorta feel like I should go dig through boxes and scan in some more old photos to document the evidence behind my comments. But that just sounds like more work.

Instead, I'm just going to give you a link so you can go Yearbook Yourself, too. It's fun!

Monday, August 17, 2009

School, Day 2.

It's Monday, and that means school is really truly starting. As in 5-days-in-a-row, hip-hip-hooray starting. It doesn't seem as exciting today, though.

We missed Junior's bus, because it showed up almost 18 minutes earlier this time and he wasn't even dressed yet. I had to send my other son out to tell the bus driver to head on without us because I wasn't even dressed yet, either.

My daughter gave me an important paper to sign, and when I handed it back to her it slipped through her fingers and floated through the air and then somehow did a graceful loop-de-loop and shot neatly under the stove. She finally retrieved it (and some other icky stuff) with a pair of chopsticks.

My older son's favorite, favorite sweatshirt's zipper got stuck in the up position and then broke off. (No, it's not chilly out, but it is raining heavily.) He yanked the whole thing off over his head and threw it down in disgust just as his bus pulled up.

After the kids were all finally out the door, I took the brand new, freshly-charged battery out of the wall outlet and inserted it into my brand new freshly shiny cordless sweeper to give it a run over the kitchen floor mess...and nothing happened. So apparently the wall outlet is dead.

We seem to have a sudden, severe ant infestation.

My nicest plant is dying, apparently on purpose.

There's a giant zit on my cheek and I'm out of coffee cream.

This room stinks.

I'm going back to bed.

(But, hey -- I CAN!) (insert vague, half-hearted cheer)

Friday, August 14, 2009

Breaking News: Self-Care Has Commenced!!

This just in!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled surfing to bring you the following important announcement: The Associated Press reports that Jujyfruit has, allegedly, taken a bath. To repeat, initial reports now indicate that Jujyfruit may have had a bath earlier today.

According to public record, this has not occurred since sometime during the past school year, or approximately 3-4 months ago. Rumor has it that Jujyfruit did likely shower once or twice since then, but that rumor has not yet been confirmed.

An inside source, who asked to remain anonymous, verified the bath-taking episode did indeed occur, and offered eye-witness testimony that at least some shaving-of-the-legs had most likely taken place in that bath, as well.

"[the shaving] was only to the knee, but that is a good start," said the insider, adding, "I'm just relieved she took the time to do that, because her capris can only hide so much, you know?"

Examination of the visible laundry piles seems to indicate that in addition to the calf-shaving, Jujyfruit also may have chosen to dress in capris that were, in fact, clean. Speculation continues regarding what she may be wearing with those freshly-laundered capris, as all three of her usual summer t-shirts have been located.

One neighbor suggested that Jujyfruit may, in fact, be wearing an actual blouse of some type, though cautioned that the fabric did still appear to be a basic jersey knit. I repeat, the fabric did still appear to be a basic jersey knit.

The neighbor explained,
"I heard a strange noise coming from Jujyfruit's house at about 11:30 this morning while I was out walking my dog, so I glanced at the window and I could see her in there using a hairdryer! I remember it distinctly, because it was just so unusual.
At first I thought it must be someone else -- like, maybe she had a house guest or something -- because she wasn't wearing her normal t-shirt and also because it almost looked like she had on dangly earrings and lip gloss! But then she turned her head in my direction, and I could see that it really was her! I don't know what all this means, but I just felt it was my American duty to report it. Something fishy's going on over there."
Officers on the scene hinted that there could be a connection between these current allegations and the fact that the local school system held its opening day of classes today, adding that "strange things" were happening all over town.

Authorities urge anyone possessing information about these startling turn of events to contact our Jujyfruit Hotline at 1-800-SHE-LIVES. Again, that's 1-800-SHE-LIVES.

Operators will be standing by to take your calls as we continue to investigate this matter.

Back to School!!

(my mental image brought to life with magical assistance from cornify & picnik)

I think this one pretty much speaks for itself. (grin)

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