Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With String...

I enjoy all the loving attention and whispered surprises that Mother's Day brings, but truth be told, I'm not a huge fan of breakfast in bed. The kids have managed to pull this off in years past, and it's made for some lovely memories, but there's something about dazedly sitting there amongst the rumpled sheets with eggs and crumbs and gently sloshing coffee, trying to prop myself up comfortably and ignoring the fact that I really need to pee.

But this year? This year those kids really hit the nail on the head. They went shopping with my husband and chose several presents for me, including a 6-pack of Snickers bars. When I woke up yesterday, they helped me get all comfortably lounge-y on the futon, and presented me with my very special Mother's Day breakfast: a cup of fresh, hot coffee and A SNICKERS BAR! And then, of course, I offered each of them one, too, much to their amazed & giggling delight.

We sat around all cozied up together, with our bedheads and puffy eyes, chewing away on our delicious candy bars and sharing sneaky grins. I had a little lump in my throat (not Snickers), and felt all warm and bubbly inside (not just caffeine and sugar). The love & happiness in the room was a present every bit as tangible as a gift bag. Those kids, they really know how to warm the cockles of this mom's heart.

Here are the rest of my Mother's Day gifts: a dozen roses, a gossipy magazine, a balloon (which Junior loved a little too firmly...), and a lunch of delicious homemade fajitas (made without me lifting one finger!)

And then, the piece de resistance: just as I was heading down the hall with Junior to change a messy diaper, my husband shouted out, "No, just sit back down -- I'll change him!"

It just doesn't get much better than this, folks.

Happy Mother's Day, everyone.

Top Chef Recap - Episode 9: Wedding Wars

We are huge fans of Top Chef around here. It's the one show that really is "Must-See T.V." for our family. The current season is set in Chicago, so we have been extra interested and enjoy watching for familiar landmarks and locations and so on. Here is a little re-cap of last night's episode, just in case you missed it!

The 8 remaining contestants hit the ground running with a QuickFire Challenge. They divided into two teams with Stephanie, Antonia, Richard, & Andrew in one corner, and Spike, Nikki, Lisa, and Dale in the other. The challenge was a relay race featuring each chef's knife skills. Each team had to peel & segment 5 oranges, prep 2 artichokes, clean a monkfish into 2 filets, and whip up 1 quart of mayonnaise from scratch. The teams were dicing and slicing neck-to-neck, and emotions were high! The whole thing came down to the mayonnaise round, with Stephanie whipping up her batch first and clinching the win for the team. Dale got mad, totally lost it, & punched a locker!
Lisa was glad to see Dale providing her with yet another reason to dislike him. The two of them really do not play well together.

She had this to say about the locker-punching incident: "Mrfff mruffffty muffle mrgfff mrfem"

Because Lisa regularly expresses her opinions with colorful language, she will be wearing a duct tape muzzle for her appearance on this blog. After all, this is a PG site! (well, ok, maybe PG-13?)

Then Antonia came on camera and explained what happened. "Dale punched a locker...then had to have his diaper changed," she said with a the smallest of grins.

Which is really not integral to the storyline, but pretty amusing nonetheless.

Then judges Padma & Tom announced the next challenge. The same two teams would be competing in a Wedding War, in which each team would be catering a wedding reception for 125 people the very next day. One team would prepare a buffet according to the Bride's tastes and requests; the other would prepare a buffet agreeable to the Groom.

The rules? Each team would have a short consultation with their client (bride or groom), 45 minutes to plan, and 1 hour to shop for ingredients with a budget of $5,000. The teams would then have 14 hours to prepare the food, requiring them to work straight through the night!

The winning team selected the Bride to work with. She requested a buffet of southern-style food, highlighting meat & potatoes. She also wanted a big wedding cake with lots of layers that was pretty.

The Groom told his team he wanted a menu featuring Italian food, specifying a German Chocolate or Hazelnut cake.

The teams flew into action and, as usual, whipped up a huge assortment of impressive-sounding dishes. As the game timer counted down, the contestants were becoming more exhausted and more strained, and the challenge of bringing both the dishes and the individual visions together (while operating on no sleep), became a little too much for some. Emotions were sky high throughout this entire episode, and in order to continue the story, I have to hand out a bit more duct tape. (excuse me for a second)

C'mon, Chefs!! My children watch this show! Get it together & watch your mouths.

Somewhere in here during a commercial break, the Bravo text poll question was, "Which Top Chef annoys you most?" Yeah. 'Nuff said. It was one of those episodes.

The teams handed out their appetizers and canapes, then served the wedding guests at their respective buffet tables. The array of food was delicious-looking, and seemed to represent much more than 14 hours of prep time!

(Check out some of the menu items and recipes here.)

The judges tasted and discussed the two teams' buffet offerings. They reflected on the "overcooked meat", "flavorless" items, and the "ugly battleship cake". They pronounced the bride's cake "impressive", the brisket "perfect", and the pizza appetizer as better than the Italian team's version. Clearly, they had decided on the winning team.

While the contestants anxiously awaited the verdict, they looked pretty miserable trying to keep their eyes open. The all-nighter was catching up with them! (Well, except for Andrew. Apparently his ADHD came in very handy in this particular challenge.)

The Bride's team was announced as the Judges' favorite, and Richard was awarded the Winning Top Chef position.

He immediately said he would like to offer the win to Stephanie, because she managed to create a lovely wedding cake for the bride (a job which nobody really wanted, yet was integral to their success). The judges applauded his move and told Stephanie that she would receive a $2,000 gift certificate from Crate & Barrel. Stephanie, in yet another fine demonstration of teamwork, announced that she and Richard would split the prize. In a show where the winner takes all, this turn of events was delightful to witness.

Then came the final decision -- the losing contestant from the losing team. The chef who would be promptly eighty-sixed. The steely expressions returned, the suspenseful music swelled, and...

...the loser was announced.

Despite an intense series of challenges, and an emotionally-charged episode, Nikki accepted her cut gracefully. "This show has been a great experience, and I am happy to go home to my family. I know that there will be another venture waiting for me," she said.

And so ended another great episode of Top Chef.

I have to say that the lessons illustrated about teamwork, leadership, cooperation, creativity, and doing the best you can (not to mention the mouth-watering food! The fooooood!!) they serve up each week keep Top Chef on my list of great family t.v. shows.....just watch the language, guys!!

Tune in next week for another exciting episode of Top Chef Chicago, served up on Bravo at 10pm EST. The previews promise tales of sabotage and intrigue...and my mouth is already watering.

Miracle Cures of the 21st Century!

Yesterday afternoon I got a call from Junior's school. I always experience a moment of dread when the caller ID announces the school is calling. Oh, no! What happened?

His teacher was on the phone, and she started out very calm and friendly -- always a good sign. Then she went on to tell me that when they came in from the playground, "there was an incident". Gulp!

Just as the heavy entrance door was closing, Junior stuck his hand in to try to catch it...but instead just had his finger mightily pinched in the crack. She sounded calm, and I couldn't hear any screaming or crying in the background, so I wasn't sure what to make of it. She told me his nail and skin were ok, but there was a lot of blood under his nail. Somehow in my confusion, though, I misunderstood and was picturing a bloody mess with nail hanging on by a hair.

"Wait - is he ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's actually surprisingly fine! He's here beside me, and he's not even crying; he just keeps holding it out and saying, "Oushh!...Oushh!" she explained.

Now, I know he has a high pain tolerance, but the fact that he was calm and fine confused me even more!

"So - does he need stitches?" I asked.

"No, really, his finger is fine....he just has a very purple nail and it has to be terribly painful. He probably needs to have a hole poked in the nail to relieve the pressure. I think you need to come get him."

Well! Let me just say that I have been around; I mean, we're no strangers to the ER....but A HOLE? POKED IN HIS NAIL?!? (The mere idea makes me feel faint!) I had never heard of this, and still couldn't figure out whether the injury was severe or not.

Junior's teacher is very laid-back; she doesn't over-react, she doesn't cry wolf. She's dealt with crazy stuff at school and simply sent a note home for me later. So I got there as fast as I could. And you know what? He really was fine! He grinned to see me...but kept saying "Oushh!" about his finger.

His teacher repeated her advice that poking a hole in the nail really would provide relief from the pressure. The school nurse seconded the opinion. The secretaries nodded in agreement. The nurse didn't have the proper tool to do it, and I knew there was no way I was going to do that at home! So I called the pediatrician's office and asked the nurse to see if the crazy rumor was true. She said that particular treatment isn't always necessary, but agreed it can be a great thing. She told me to bring Junior in and they'd take a look. I called my husband to bring him up to speed, and he said he, himself, has done it a million times and it really does help.

Seriously, how have I never heard of this before??

Now, Junior has problems sleeping on a good day, and I was beginning to have images of him awake all night due to a throbbing finger...and though the idea of poking a hole in one's fingernail goes against the very nature of my being, by this point a half dozen people had confirmed the treatment. I drove to the pediatrician's office.

The doctor was concerned with how protective Junior was being of his finger. He ordered an X-ray to be certain it wasn't broken. Which hadn't even crossed my mind, but instantly became all I could think! (Stitches! Missing nails! Shattered bones!! Neurotic much?)

It wasn't.

Dr. L. promised making a hole in the nail was completely painless & very quick, and really was a good idea. So Junior sat on my lap and we all braced his arm down, because he was getting scared.*

I should note that through all of this, Junior was an absolute trooper. Despite a few scary moments for him, the entire visit was smooth & easy. He charmed everyone, waited patiently, and was very cooperative. He even signed "thank you" and waved goodbye to everyone as we left! (You've heard the theory that pain provides focus?... I'm thinking it just might be true.)**

But back to the story. They used a special heated tool that melted through the nail in about 2 seconds flat, squeezed out the collected blood, and PRESTO, MAGICO! -- nail fixed. Seriously. The purple? GONE. The pain? GONE!!

BEFORE

AFTER!

As my grandma would say, "Well, I never!"

I'm telling you, that finger isn't even swollen. It's crazy. CRAZY!! Who knew?!

***

*(Not as scared as he was of the scale, though. To stand on. And be weighed. That! Was scary stuff.)

**(I could insert some joke here about a fashionable tool belt with convenient hammer being the very latest in mommy accessories...but I won't...ahem.)