Gravity Is Keeping Me Down

Gravity plus undigested Christmas goodies.

Fortunately, I was able to crawl to a soft spot near the remote control before I let gravity win.

"This just isn't going to work."

Unfortunately, I couldn't ignore the Christmas tree hovering accusingly over me, dropping shriveled up needles every now and then in its passive-aggressive attempt to gain attention.

So I decided to move my gravitational struggles to a different room. One with an equally soft spot to land, but with less responsibility looming overhead.

"Ahh, that's better..."

After wasting relaxing for the entire morning, I pulled myself up by the HDTV cables and attempted a trip to the grocery store.

Unfortunately, the car battery was dead.

"$*&$#@!!"

Exhausted by my brief exertions, I went back to bed couch and decided to order pizza for supper.

You know you haven't been cooking regularly enough when the kids groan "Pizza, again?"

"Isn't this a fun Family Movie Party Night?!"

I disguised my affliction by billing the whole thing as Family Movie Party Night!

The next day, I felt ready to attempt vertical and to attack the piles of laundry.

"$@#*%*!"

I made it through one load... and then the dryer quit working.

Unable to do laundry at home, and lacking transportation to take it elsewhere, it seemed the universe was telling me it was my DESTINY to simply get back on that couch. So I draped wet laundry over every chair in the house and peacefully followed my destiny.

This time with the remote control AND a book.

Guilt-free lethargy.

The next day, I again felt refreshed and ready to be vertically productive.

Since laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, and running any other proactive errands were still out of the question, I started a sewing project I've been meaning to work on.

"*@$%^@!! ...Seriously, am I on Punk'd??"

And -- surprise, surprise -- the sewing machine quit working.

(Later that night, my son would say to me, "It's like you have the Midas Touch, only without the gold. And everything breaks." Yes. Yes, indeed.)

I blindly attempted to fix the problem, but was unsuccessful.

So? Back to the TV. This time with snacks and drinks.

Click. Click. Click... (sigh)

...And then I remembered the Christmas tree, standing there in all its uppity judgment. Sucking the fun out of my personal staycation with its silent accusations, dripping with dusty needles and disgust.

I thought about it carefully, and realized that taking the tree down did not require transportation, or clean clothes, or food in the cupboard, or the production of a well-balanced meal or crafty project. I couldn't possibly continue to watch TV willy-nilly knowing that this task could actually be achieved.

I realized there was only one thing to do.

Zzzzzz....

...So I did it.

Domo's Big Adventure!

Guess what? My fingers are finally thawed enough to type! Now I can regale you with glorious stories of my sunny vacation...hopefully in a way that just makes you happy for me, or makes you smile vicariously; NOT in a way that makes you seethe with jealousy and want to kick me in the shin.

Boy, this could be difficult.

OK, here's an idea: I think I will let someone else tell about the week. That way you won't exactly picture ME at the other end of this unfair-yet-glorious jackpot of golden luck! Plus also you won't be haunted by pictures of me in my bikini.*

When we left for our trip, I kidnapped the little Domo guy off my son's dresser and left a note in his place. The note was written to my son from Domo himself, and it explained that he was sneaking into my suitcase to go off and see the world. (...but that OF COURSE he would be coming back because he LOVES living here!)

So, Domo ended up in Mexico and had quite an adventure. In the spirit of Flat Stanley, or, more currently, Bathroom Gangsta,we took lots of pictures and e-mailed some back while we were gone so the kids could see what Domo was up to.

I've put the photos into a little movie to tell all about Domo's vacation. Enjoy!



******

*OK, technically there is ONE partial picture of me like that. But there is no bikini. I kid about the bikini! I haven't even owned one since 1988!! (And, actually, those pictures would probably be postable. But you might not recognize me.) But these days? Well, these days a nice, modest tankini -- with skirt! -- bares plenty enough. I guess you might call it a momkini.

The Other Guy Who Had a Dream

Most people are completely unaware of this fact, but there is actually another guy who also made a visionary "I Have a Dream" speech.

The Other Guy

His speech was heard only by a select few (the kids & me), but it had a fairly big impact on the way we live. We moved.

As you know, we bought a house several months ago. There were many wonderful things about this house...but there were also some problems with it. (No, I'm not talking about the pink bathroom, but I do appreciate your concern.) One of the main problems was that it only had three bedrooms, yet our family requires four. But, the house also had a large unfinished basement, and though it was hard for the average home-buyer to see the potential there, my visionary husband did.

We walked through the basement while the house was still filled with the previous owners and all their junk, and my husband was able to see a future in which the basement could be turned into finished rooms that would fill the needs of our family and all our junk!

Photo taken moments after the actual speech, as our daughter absorbs the dream.

Many things have happened between that day and this current day. The dream is slowly becoming a reality. We have torn down walls, demolished barriers, and removed obstacles, laying the foundation for a life in which our children will have new freedoms and opportunities and bedrooms in which to experience dreams of their own!

I'm excited; the future looks bright.

Here -- take a little peek for yourself!

Top Chef Season 5: Our Quickfire Family Challenge

As you might recall, we are big fans of Top Chef. BIG fans! We taped the new one (Season 5, Episode 8: Down on the Farm) this week and watched it together last night. You can read a full episode recap over there, but the part that really caught our interest was the QuickFire Challenge at the very beginning of the episode.

In that challenge, the chefs had 15 minutes to make a dish from an assortment of canned and processed ingredients. While the chefs were slightly dumbfounded and made many comments about how hard it was to cook with that type of food (instead of the hand-delivered, fresh whole ingredients to which they are accustomed), I found myself thinking that it just sounded like a typical midweek mealtime dilemma to me!

Sure, there was stuff in there that even I, an ordinary canned food user, have never even purchased and would find extremely challenging to use -- like SPAM, for example. I admit to thinking it a bit beneath me...so it's only natural that these up-and-coming gourmet chefs would too, right? But, listen to this -- the winning QuickFire dish was one that used the Spam!

(And as a total aside here, if you read the episode recap I linked to above, past winner Stephanie Izard sings Spam's praises in her blog....which makes me wonder if I am actually missing something! Do I need to try some Spam??)

After watching the episode, my son and I decided we were going to try the canned & packaged pantry challenge for ourselves. We started the timer and rushed off to investigate our available ingredients.

There was a lot of stuff in the pantry cupboard, but it was a challenge to find things that seemed likely to pair well together in an inventive combo...or that would be done quickly enough.

...So we decided anything in the fridge should be fair game, too. We pulled out a variety of options, and then quickly made our game plan for THREE separate dishes.

Depressing or inspiring? Depends how you look at it...

The first dish was inspired by Ramen Noodles, a pack of Teriyaki Salmon, and a head of lettuce.

Eww! (It's been in the cupboard for months, just waiting for someone to give it a try...)

We threw the salmon in a skillet to heat...but it looked pretty unappetizing and definitely needed to be doctored up a bit. We added soy sauce and rice wine vinegar...and ginger! (I realize this isn't a typical pantry item, but we decided it was the perfect addition.)

Fresh ginger -- lucky us!

After sauteing together, the ginger mellowed and the sauce reduced to a delicious caramelized coating.

It's a miracle that Junior has never actually burned his NOSE while watching me cook.

We used lettuce leaves as a base, then layered in the Ramen noodles and salmon. We sprinkled crushed peanuts over each filled lettuce cup, but it was way too salty.

I bet the Top Chef kitchen doesn't have one of these ever-useful, old-fashioned potato mashers...

Checking the pantry and fridge once more, we mixed up a sweet sauce to drizzle over the cups and garnished each with fresh lime.

With a little cilantro & mint, it would have been the perfect Thai dipping sauce.

Here's the finished dish: Asian Lettuce Wraps with Teriyaki Salmon.

Despite taking so many pictures, it seems I neglected to take pictures of the next dish's humble beginnings. So instead, I will simply take a picture of its humble ending and label the layers.

Meet dish number 2: Inner Beauty Briskettes, the appetizer with a great personality. (Bubbs summed it up well when he urged, "Try them! They taste a lot better than they look!")

Good thing the plate was colorful...

Surprisingly tasty, but definitely missing something fresh. Or something not brown.

The third dish was, admittedly, a bit of a cheat. It would equal sudden death in a real Top Chef challenge, but was a lovely little addition to our menu.

There was a leftover pan of cream cheese brownies sitting on the counter...

...and some Hershey's syrup and whipped cream in the fridge.

Voila! Dish number three: Double Chocolate Pastries with a Duo of Cream!

Because "Prepared Brownie Mix with Canned Whipped Cream Leftover From Thanksgiving" just didn't sound right.

The three dishes were presented to our Esteemed Panel of Judges (also known as Our Family, thus including both of us chefs...but not Tootsie, who heard the word "salmon" and caught a glimpse of Inner Beauty Briskettes and promptly resigned).

Judge Number 1 gave the menu a very solid Thumbs Up.

Judge Number 2 enthusiastically agreed, giving it Two Pointy Fingers.

Judge Number 3 (me), put her camera down and chowed.

Judge Number 4, Head Judge for this event, had the honor of announcing the winner...

...Asian Lettuce Wraps with Teriyaki Salmon, you are the winner for this challenge!

Inner Beauty Briskettes, please pack your knives and go.

(Double Chocolates with your Duo of Cream, you know you don't really count because you have immunity. Still, your performance tonight was integral to the success of your team, and you will remain safe.)

Congratulations to our winner!

More Computer Fun: Kiderpillars!

Here's a fun little stop-motion movie we made over Christmas break while the cousins were all together. (And, no, that's not my house, but I will post photos soon to relieve your fears about that sad light gray paint.)



You don't need a fancy new laptop to make one of these, but it sure did make the process more fun. (and faster!)

And Now for the Talent Portion of Our Show

The hubster and I decided to take a little break from all the work we've doing lately, and brush up on an old routine of ours...

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

(giggling) If you would like to try some fun dance routines of your own, take a look at jibjab.com in the "Starring You" section.

Enjoy!

Top Chef Recap - Episode 9: Wedding Wars

We are huge fans of Top Chef around here. It's the one show that really is "Must-See T.V." for our family. The current season is set in Chicago, so we have been extra interested and enjoy watching for familiar landmarks and locations and so on. Here is a little re-cap of last night's episode, just in case you missed it!

The 8 remaining contestants hit the ground running with a QuickFire Challenge. They divided into two teams with Stephanie, Antonia, Richard, & Andrew in one corner, and Spike, Nikki, Lisa, and Dale in the other. The challenge was a relay race featuring each chef's knife skills. Each team had to peel & segment 5 oranges, prep 2 artichokes, clean a monkfish into 2 filets, and whip up 1 quart of mayonnaise from scratch. The teams were dicing and slicing neck-to-neck, and emotions were high! The whole thing came down to the mayonnaise round, with Stephanie whipping up her batch first and clinching the win for the team. Dale got mad, totally lost it, & punched a locker!
Lisa was glad to see Dale providing her with yet another reason to dislike him. The two of them really do not play well together.

She had this to say about the locker-punching incident: "Mrfff mruffffty muffle mrgfff mrfem"

Because Lisa regularly expresses her opinions with colorful language, she will be wearing a duct tape muzzle for her appearance on this blog. After all, this is a PG site! (well, ok, maybe PG-13?)

Then Antonia came on camera and explained what happened. "Dale punched a locker...then had to have his diaper changed," she said with a the smallest of grins.

Which is really not integral to the storyline, but pretty amusing nonetheless.

Then judges Padma & Tom announced the next challenge. The same two teams would be competing in a Wedding War, in which each team would be catering a wedding reception for 125 people the very next day. One team would prepare a buffet according to the Bride's tastes and requests; the other would prepare a buffet agreeable to the Groom.

The rules? Each team would have a short consultation with their client (bride or groom), 45 minutes to plan, and 1 hour to shop for ingredients with a budget of $5,000. The teams would then have 14 hours to prepare the food, requiring them to work straight through the night!

The winning team selected the Bride to work with. She requested a buffet of southern-style food, highlighting meat & potatoes. She also wanted a big wedding cake with lots of layers that was pretty.

The Groom told his team he wanted a menu featuring Italian food, specifying a German Chocolate or Hazelnut cake.

The teams flew into action and, as usual, whipped up a huge assortment of impressive-sounding dishes. As the game timer counted down, the contestants were becoming more exhausted and more strained, and the challenge of bringing both the dishes and the individual visions together (while operating on no sleep), became a little too much for some. Emotions were sky high throughout this entire episode, and in order to continue the story, I have to hand out a bit more duct tape. (excuse me for a second)

C'mon, Chefs!! My children watch this show! Get it together & watch your mouths.

Somewhere in here during a commercial break, the Bravo text poll question was, "Which Top Chef annoys you most?" Yeah. 'Nuff said. It was one of those episodes.

The teams handed out their appetizers and canapes, then served the wedding guests at their respective buffet tables. The array of food was delicious-looking, and seemed to represent much more than 14 hours of prep time!

(Check out some of the menu items and recipes here.)

The judges tasted and discussed the two teams' buffet offerings. They reflected on the "overcooked meat", "flavorless" items, and the "ugly battleship cake". They pronounced the bride's cake "impressive", the brisket "perfect", and the pizza appetizer as better than the Italian team's version. Clearly, they had decided on the winning team.

While the contestants anxiously awaited the verdict, they looked pretty miserable trying to keep their eyes open. The all-nighter was catching up with them! (Well, except for Andrew. Apparently his ADHD came in very handy in this particular challenge.)

The Bride's team was announced as the Judges' favorite, and Richard was awarded the Winning Top Chef position.

He immediately said he would like to offer the win to Stephanie, because she managed to create a lovely wedding cake for the bride (a job which nobody really wanted, yet was integral to their success). The judges applauded his move and told Stephanie that she would receive a $2,000 gift certificate from Crate & Barrel. Stephanie, in yet another fine demonstration of teamwork, announced that she and Richard would split the prize. In a show where the winner takes all, this turn of events was delightful to witness.

Then came the final decision -- the losing contestant from the losing team. The chef who would be promptly eighty-sixed. The steely expressions returned, the suspenseful music swelled, and...

...the loser was announced.

Despite an intense series of challenges, and an emotionally-charged episode, Nikki accepted her cut gracefully. "This show has been a great experience, and I am happy to go home to my family. I know that there will be another venture waiting for me," she said.

And so ended another great episode of Top Chef.

I have to say that the lessons illustrated about teamwork, leadership, cooperation, creativity, and doing the best you can (not to mention the mouth-watering food! The fooooood!!) they serve up each week keep Top Chef on my list of great family t.v. shows.....just watch the language, guys!!

Tune in next week for another exciting episode of Top Chef Chicago, served up on Bravo at 10pm EST. The previews promise tales of sabotage and intrigue...and my mouth is already watering.

Spring Break-ing Away, Part 2

(...and the story continues)

The nice weather held, and for two more days they continued with their Spring Break Camping Adventure. The kids went exploring together.

Bubb learned to split logs and how to build a proper fire. (neither of which can ever be done without supervision -- got that, mister?!?)

Tootsie finally learned to enjoy Tortellini Soup (which apparently tastes much better when you are outdoors, cold, and pretty strongly opposed to hot dogs). And she read some good books.

Pop relished in his freedom to lounge outdoors and listen to his beloved Cubs broadcast, with not much more on his To Do list besides 1)keep the fire going and 2)produce something to eat now and then. Did the Cubs win that day? I'm not sure... but for once, I don't think it really mattered to him.

By the third day, Junior was feeling better, so I decided to head back to the campground with him to join in the fun. He was happy to see everyone, and thrilled to be outside. He kept stirring up trouble making messes very busy.

We are down one camp chair now. Although there is some question as to whether that is actually due to Junior or to the gusting winds we had that day. I have my suspicions.

Everybody was pretty tired by evening, and I decided to head back home with Junior in hopes of a more restful night. One that involved a hot shower, cushy bedding, and heat. And possibly even sleeping in with such an empty, quiet house. Turns out Junior had a little wish of his own, too...

Yep. You guessed it.

Spring Break-ing Away

While most everyone we know went away to someplace warm and exotic over Spring Break, we settled for something a little more....well, cool and rustic. But it was still away! We loaded up a mountain of food and firewood, our two oldest kids and our two nieces, and made a beeline for a local state park. (Junior stayed with grandparents that first night to simplify things.)

Schools may call this time of year "Spring" Break, but let me tell ya, there was nothing springy about it that first night. It. Was. Cold.

...and kinda soggy. But we put all our faith in the local forecasters' promise of a warm weekend ahead. And you know what?

It happened! The warm front moved in the next day, just as promised. Our stir-crazy, winter-weary, house-bound kids finally got to run around the campground and play in real, actual SUNSHINE. That was outside! And...sunny! And the playground was directly across from our campsite, so the kids could freely explore & roam. It was lovely.

But, like all good things, it had to come to an end. At least for a few of our Happy Campers. The nieces had to head home (planned), and so did I (unplanned). Turns out Junior had developed a fever. It had, in fact, been already present when we left town the previous afternoon, but nobody had noticed, and Grammy was nice enough to keep it her little secret for 24 hours so we didn't worry. But once I heard the details, I knew my personal camping trip was over. I headed home to take care of the the poor little guy while the rest of the family continued on with their camping adventures.

Pop took the kids on a 2-mile hike he read about on the campground map. Only apparently the trail merged with another trail....which added another 1/2 mile UPHILL to reach their destination. So the 2-mile hike turned into a 4 1/2 mile trek. The threats bribes encouragement was provided freely, from what I understand, and upon their return to camp the kids celebrated with ice cream from the camp store.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Junior and I settled in with a box of kleenex, a bottle of Tylenol, and his favorite movie playing on a continuous loop.

(to be continued...)