Low-Tech High-Tech.

I love technology as much as anyone. There are certain things I don't hesitate to purchase and can't imagine doing without. Like our TV, for example. Cable. DVD players. My laptop.

There are other sparkly high-tech things, however, that don't seem as essential to me. So even though those Christmas ads are urging you to rush out and buy the latest and greatest, let me suggest several low-tech substitutes that seem to fill the role just fine.

My technology. Let me show it to you.

This is my Palm Pilot:

It's winter now -- don't forget the nose stuff!

This is my cordless phone:

It really did work at first, but it broke. I removed the cord and left it there as decoration. Why? Because I like it.

This is my cell phone:

This one is real. In use. Seriously.

This is my PhotoShop:

I use those Cut and Paste tools all the time.

This is my BlackBerry:

I find myself fresh out of blackberries at the moment, but when I have them, they look like this. Only frozen.

This is my Cricut:

FREE to good home!

This is my GameBoy:

His favorites are Probe and football.
(Ok, we actually do have one. But I'm on a roll here!)

This is my Wii Wee.

But it will be replaced by the REAL THING on Christmas morning! Let's talk about hand cream while we wait.

This is my Segway:

Speaking of personal technology...

...what about the rest of you? Any others to add to the list? (I bet you actually do have a laptop if you really think about it.)

Bonkers Post: One Day Back in June...

Ready for the first blogging round of Bonkers? We're going backwards to go forward!

First stop -- this post about a zoo trip that took place back in June...

Bonkers

This morning I woke up with a jingle stuck in my head.

Apparently my brain is giving me a gentle little kick in the butt, urging me to put some things in this yawning gap of blog space. I stopped blogging for a bit -- unintentionally, really -- and then found myself unable to start back up. Do I explain my absence? Do I need to fill in the holes first? Can I use those old drafts now, even though they are from past months? Because then everyone will be so confused by the obvious chronological blips in my online diary and will therefore be unable to make sense of the world in which they live??

Heh. I might have been over-thinking it.

But you can just thank your lucky stars that a simple jingle running through my head this morning will allow all of humankind to release its collectively held breath and permit the earth to resume its spinning. (Whew! That was close, eh?)

Ready for the brilliant insight? It's this: BONKERS.

No, seriously, Bonkers -- that 70s board game? Do you remember it?

Now available in select online vintage stores near you! Only $39.95 + shipping.

The end of the commercial's jingle was:

"...You go backwards to go forwards in a Bonkers kind of fun,
You think that you are losing, when suddenly you've won!
Bonkers is fun,
Bonkers is nice,
Bonkers is never the same game twice!"

Does that ring a bell for anyone? We didn't watch much tv back in those days, so it must have been a fairly frequent commercial for me to remember it. (Though we did have the game, and I remember singing the jingle over and over while playing it, so maybe disregard that last sentence. Hmm.)

Anyway, I woke up with those lines in my head and realized that was the answer: I need to go backwards to go forward.

So here we go.....backwards! Hang on to your hats -- the next few posts will be a Bonkers kind of fun.

Yearbook Yourself

In case you've been wondering, even though my last post said I was "going back to bed" I haven't actually been sleeping this whole entire time.

I probably could have. (I probably should have.)

But, no, little sleeping has occurred. Instead, I've been working. Working and working and working. I'd post evidence but I'm too tired. (From all that working.)

Instead, let me just sit here and relax while I entertain you with photos of me from yearbooks past.

1952

The love child of Carol Burnett and Lily Tomlin, perhaps? I'm quite liking the dark hair on me. Or perhaps it is the 20-pounds-lighter face shape I am enjoying. I'm not sure.

*****
19601960 was a fine year for me, too. Although, getting my limp hair to do *that* on a daily basis would have been quite a challenge! (Not to mention the whole tiny waist & big pointy bosom thing.) I think my aunt might have this exact same photo in her actual yearbook. Or one that's eerily similar, anyway.

*****
1962That ultra-feminine, be-ribboned updo is fooling no one.

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1966Jujyfruit as That Girl.

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1968My cousin, Hannah!

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1970

And a slightly more distant cousin.

*****
1974

Add braces and pimples and a skinny tie -- it's 8th grade all over again.

*****
1978

I smell Breck shampoo.

*****
1984

I smell prom.

*****
1986

Amy, is that you? Or is it me? I'm confused!
*****

1988

My MOM! (Her sweater was greenish. Remember?)

*****
1990

I had this hair, minus the side wisp. (And my friend had those glasses.)

See?? Actual 1990! (just oddly missing some curl on the side)

*****
1992

The long nails help me remember this is not my real senior picture.

*****
1998

If I could have gotten the left side of my own hair to swoop up as high as this, I probably would have.

*****
2000

This one stumps me. Long, straight hair? Off-the-shoulder top? Totally unfamiliar. (Except for that one Halloween...)

I sorta feel like I should go dig through boxes and scan in some more old photos to document the evidence behind my comments. But that just sounds like more work.

Instead, I'm just going to give you a link so you can go Yearbook Yourself, too. It's fun!

Star in Your Own Movie Clip: More Internet Fun!

Here's another fun internet find for your viewing pleasure: my husband as Curly in City Slickers.



The customizable clip was offered as one of the choices for Father's Day viral marketing fun from Oddcast. (Office Space, Back to School, The Terminator, Dodgeball, and Robocop are also available if you prefer.)

Go to mymoviemoment.com to try it yourself!

And here's a tip: The face dubbing works better on some clips than others, so if your first effort doesn't work well, try a different clip! For example, Old School is a really funny diving clip...but would work best for someone with blonde or gray hair since the face shots are fleeting and a bit distorted (which rendered my dark-haired husband completely unrecognizable.) Just keep trying.

Happy Father's Day to My Favorite Almost-Father!

Happy Father's Day, all you fathers out there who read this blog! By my calculations, for fully one third of you guys, today is your very first Father's Day on the father side of the equation!

The, ahem, one reader I'm referring to here just happens to be my younger brother.

Technically, brother, you are in that Kind-of-Dad category, because the baby hasn't actually been born yet. But the due date is so near that I know today's holiday carries new significance for you this year, and I've definitely seen you make a mental shift in the Dad direction. I know you are excited for the big birth day, but I also know there is so much more to come that you haven't even imagined yet. You have all the makings of a great dad. (And next year you will be celebrating for realsies, without questioning your membership status.)

Now while you have all the makings of a great dad, I don't think you have all the STUFF that a great dad needs. So I've been scouring the Internet to find the very best baby products for a brand new dad like you -- an urban, gadget-loving, computer geek, playful, musical, active, smart, eco-friendly, hands-on, fun kind of dad.

I've found some really good stuff that I would love to get for you....but, of course, I can't get all of it. And, to be completely honest, you really don't neeeeeed any of it. But, man, is it cool!

Feast your fatherly eyes on this:

The 2009 Ultimate Mega Cool Baby Product Shopping List for New Dads Like You (Where Price = Not An Issue)

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MAGNO Wooden Radio from Uncrate

This radio and ipod player would be wonderful in the new nursery. It's attractive, fun and functional, and a lovely shade of green. It's perfect for playing beautiful tunes (and all those not-so-beautiful toddler favorites) for your new little musician-to-be.

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DadGear Cargo Jacket Wearable Diaper Bag

This is a cool jacket for you to wear when you're outdoors doing all those cool outdoor things that you do. Outdoors. Coolly. In your jacket.

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Z'fina Man Sling

Slings are great, but many of them are made with the mother in mind and they look adorably flowered and cute...but not very Dad-ish. But for the hands-on father who wants to do some baby-wearing of his own, this Man Sling is a great way to go.

And just think...if you wore The Man Sling over the ManGear Cargo Jacket, you could venture forth into the world with all the necessities and supplies -- even the baby -- and still have both hands free!* (All while looking very manly!)

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Modern Nursery Custom Canvases

This Custom Canvas is a great idea. Simply send in a photo of you and your child, and the image is transformed into a custom printed canvas on the background color of your choice. Preserve your memories and decorate the nursery, all in one shot. (Plus, it's got that high-contrast appeal that all the new babies are into these days.)

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Food Face Dinner Plate from Perpetual Kid

Ahhh, this one! This one might just be my favorite. The Food Face Dinner Plate set is one of the most creative and funny kid items I've ever seen. Actually, I suppose it would probably keep ME entertained longer than the baby...but how fun would it be to serve yet another boring meal on an exciting plate like this?! My only concern is that it's ceramic. While I know that appeals to purists, to old moms like me it just sounds like an accident waiting to happen. But then again...faces to decorate! Clearly Ultimate Mega Cool List -worthy.

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Wheel of Responsibility from Perpetual Kid

I'm guessing that right about now, the thought of taking care of your new little one sounds like a magical thrilling privilege. And you might actually find yourself waking up with glee (or remaining awake most of the night just listening to her breathe and hoping she wakes up again really soon so you can see her some more!!) in the first few weeks, but I promise you, the day will come when you would really rather not feed, diaper, burp, hold, whatever. There will eventually be a time when any one of those things is neither convenient nor fun. So when the newness wears off and all the unicorns have left the building, this little spinner could actually come in handy to help determine who's on duty. (Or at the very least, it could simply remind you to laugh.)

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Extra Nipple Buttons from Perpetual Kid

And speaking of laughing, this one is for the REALLY hands-on dad. The dad who fully supports all efforts on the breast-feeding front and wishes there were more he could do to help. Stick these puppies on and voila! a dual-nursing household it is. (heh, heh)

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USB Desk Vacuum from Whatever Works

As the nursing slowly morphs into First Foods forays, there will likely be times when you are sitting at the keyboard and holding your little whippersnapper while she happily gnaws on her gluten-free crackers and the crumbs will fall all over your computer desk. Have no fear -- your tiny USB Vacuum is here!

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TerraCycle Circuit Board Picture Frame

And speaking of computers....do you know what you will need to add to your desk at work the very second your baby arrives? A picture! These TerraCycle picture frames are made from recycled circuit boards, so they would be perfect for a computer guy's obligatory baby photo display.

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Taga Bike

Zipping around town on your Vespa is one of those great perks about being an Almost-Dad. But once you are an Actual-Literal-Baby-Toting-Dad, you might need to consider an alternative form of transportation. This Taga is one of the coolest bikes I've ever seen! (In fact, I've been gazing at it longingly and kind of wondering if it would still work for a big almost-8-year-old...but I had to admit his head would block my view and his feet would drag along the road. Rats!) But, oh, I can imagine the joys of having this contraption when your baby is a baby!

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Baby Brain iPhone App

Baby Super Tracker iPhone App

And, finally, I came across these two baby care apps. Last I knew, you didn't actually have an iPhone...but I know your devotion to Mac computers (and great technology), so I'm thinking it could just be a matter of time before you have one. And I also know how you like to be prepared and are careful and thorough in all your endeavors. Those characteristics could prove to be really helpful -- and extremely challenging -- when it comes to baby care. So when I saw these iPhone apps in my search for the latest & greatest, I thought the idea was right down your alley and added them to the list. Cool, huh?

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Lots to Say Baby Pacifiers

Much less high-techy, but still with a gadgety theme, are these pacifiers. There's also one (not pictured here) that says "Mute Button" which I was rather tickled by. And one that says "No Hablo." (hee, hee) I suppose they are pretty cheesy -- perhaps even totally tacky -- but they made my Ultimate Mega Cool List nonetheless. Because the thought of giant unblinking baby eyes gazing at me with "Hi" on her lips makes me grin.

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Now, listen. Here's the thing -- I already told you that I can't buy you all of these great products. But, brace yourself! Because I have purchased ONE of the items detailed above to send to you! That's right, one of these lovely gifts will be arriving at your doorstep. Will it be the Taga bike? Or maybe the pacifiers?

I'm not telling. You'll just have to wait and see!** (Isn't this exciting?)

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*You'll have your hands free so you can still do magic tricks! (And just think of all the new places you'll have in which to stash some of those magical components...you'll be the most popular dad at the playground!)

**You should anticipate something more on the pacifier end of the spectrum, though. Just sayin'.

A Google Giggle to Jump-Start Your Day!

I knew today was April Fool's Day. I mean, yesterday I looked up Family Fun's fake food of the year (fish sticks & peas) and rounded up the ingredients; I printed out some unsolvable puzzles for the kids to work on; I made a bag of CreativiTea (the Earl Gray Matter)...

...but I still had a moment of utter disgust when I read the announcement on my gmail sign-in page this morning. For just a moment, I believed. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

(click to enlarge)

Then I remembered what day it was.

I clicked to read more about CADIE, and the prank got even funnier:


Really, you must go check out her website. And for further giggles, read some of the comments; they are funny in both directions -- from those who obviously caught on to the joke and responded in kind, and from those who...well, didn't. (Artificial intelligence, indeed!)

What a fun way to start the day -- thanks, gmail! You've inspired me to go do a few pranks of my own.

Happy Foolin', everyone!

More Computer Fun: Kiderpillars!

Here's a fun little stop-motion movie we made over Christmas break while the cousins were all together. (And, no, that's not my house, but I will post photos soon to relieve your fears about that sad light gray paint.)



You don't need a fancy new laptop to make one of these, but it sure did make the process more fun. (and faster!)

How I Spent My Christmas Vacation

I have been having a very merry Christmas Vacation. It's been filled with many of my favorite things -- eating good food, lazing in jammies until noon, lots of crafting and puttering around, and

...THIS!!

That’s right, I’m the proud owner of a brand spankin' new LAPTOP! She’s a beaut with her big, wide, crystal clear screen, and some fancy internal thingamajigs with lots of megamilatonobytes of pixelRAMS and fast whizzy horsepower stuff. And I think she has some kind of processor or something.

But most impressive of all, she has a built-in camera and a push-button control pad and a fingerprint scanner! And there's even a twee little remote control to…uhm…carry in my pocket when I have to leave her behind! Yes, I think it's so I can take a little piece of her along and never forget her.

She's really something.

I’ve wished for a laptop for a long time, but I wished in the way that I also wish to win the lottery, or have a maid, or live inside of Target. (You know, one of those fantasies that I don't really expect to happen.) But Santa was VERY generous this year. (And apparently I was REALLY good.)

So let me show all the amazing stuff I've been doing!

First I did this, early in the morning, while the rest of the house was sleeping:


Then everyone else was up and around, too, so I did this:


And later I did this:


And then I took a break to tell everyone good night. So that I could do this:


And then I realized that my eyeballs were completely dried up and exhausted from the hard day's work:

But I couldn’t stop, so I told myself I could follow just one more link.

And then I told myself the exact same thing TWO HOURS LATER:

But I just kept at it until I nearly fell asleep in the chair:
...which was when I noticed that there were crazy avatars with assignable moods, and so of course I had to turn myself into a puking cat, which kept me awake for another minute or two:

Until finally this happened:

Thank goodness the battery died SO I COULD FINALLY GO TO BED!!

This has been the Christmas Break of my dreams. Unlimited computing and crafting, tasty meals made by my hubby who's been home nearly every day, everyone warm and cozy and busy with new games and toys, no appointments, no schedule... Ahhhhhh...
Does it really have to end??