My Passive-Aggressive Calendar: Let Me Show It To You

I bought myself a calendar this year. Generally I just use the free one that comes in the mail mid-December. But this year I actually went to the store, browsed around, and carefully selected one that had nice, large squares for writing in and a spiral binding so it would lay flat. It even had an attractive plain, red leather(ish) cover on it, so I wouldn't mind it lying around in plain sight all the time. I payed $16.95 for it, and considered it money well spent. I truly believed that this calendar would improve my life by helping me to be more organized & efficient. Look out, 2008; here I come!

But there's a problem. Unlike every other calendar I have ever owned, including all the mini-planner purse editions, school calendar magnet versions, and those small-squared, awkwardly-sized, floppy, free ones from our insurance company or bank or whoever*, this one STARTS ON A MONDAY SQUARE.

And if that's not confusing enough, the tiny preview month-at-a-glance calendars at the top of the page are in the traditional SUNDAY-SQUARE-COMES-FIRST format. Passive-aggressive, I tell you!
So this Monday Square format. It does not work for me. When I write down events and appointments by date, everything is hunky dory and I love my hip new calendar. And if something falls on the right-hand page (Thursday - Sunday), I see the weekend shared squares and everything's fine. But when someone says "how about Monday?" or "next Tuesday" or "this Wednesday" I invariably get it wrong!!

Yes, I know -- it is already May and I should have caught on to this by now. But it keeps tripping me up!

Last week I emailed someone to "definitely (probably, I'm pretty sure)" expect my son because I had returned his registration form with our commitment. The problem was I returned it a day late because I marked the deadline on my calendar on the wrong dumb square! So...we're planning on it, but until we hear for sure, I'm hoping they have a slightly flexible deadline.

I also dropped off my 2 dozen cookies for the teacher's lounge at school last week, just as I had agreed to do....only I was, again, a day late. I breezed into the office with a grin and a chipper "just gonna drop these off in the Teacher's Lounge!" and then opened the door to an empty room. So on Tuesday there were dozens of donated cookies and drinks for the teachers to enjoy, courtesy of the PTO,....and on Wednesday there was a lone, tired little plate of cookies from me. I moved the empty containers and explanatory post-it notes and thank you cards from the day before, brushed aside the dry crumbs, and set my little plate on the table. Then ran!

So I think I finally got it through my thick skull: CHECK THE DAY! The actual name of the day of the week, for each square, no matter how delicately labelled and deceptively fluid it may appear! This is it. I have cracked the code. I have learned my lesson. I will double- and triple-check dates from now on!

Look out, all you Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays left in 2008; I am still coming!

And now I must run, for I have places to go and people to see! Oh, wait. Never mind. That was yesterday.... (banging head on table)



*Note To Our Friendly Business People:
To Whom It May Concern,
The free calendars were great and all (I mean we've used them for years now, even though we don't even have a nail in the wall to hang them from or anything!) but probably not really worth your advertising dollars. Think about it -- even after all these years of free calendars, I can't remember who you are! Perhaps you would consider dropping our insurance rates, or our interest rates, or your service charges, or offering some discount in whatever it is we are consuming from your business, in place of the annual calendar. Ok? Great!
Thanks, your loyal customer,
Jujyfruit.