Friday, October 31, 2008

Invisibility Theme, Part III: A Stinky Halloween Mystery

So there seems to be a zone of terrific weakness in my Super Power capabilities. Apparently, I can make an entire wall-mounted double oven disappear, but am utterly helpless against that which is already invisible!

There is one double cupboard in the kitchen that stinks. It just...reeks, actually. A slight, persistent, festering funk that builds up each time the doors close, and then wafts out, riding the currents straight to the closest available nose each time the doors open.

It smells like sour milk. Like old baby burp cloths. Like...a small hurl.

So, obviously, this is a problem. One, it stinks. Two, this is the cupboard in which the plates, bowls, and cups are stored, so it's a frequently-used and important one. Three, many of those dishes are plastic and somewhat absorbent of odors. Four, I can't stop imagining scenarios in which accidental projectile vomiting into a cupboard might have occurred, and it's disturbing.

(The dishes just make the most sense in that cupboard, ok? They need to stay there, in unscented peace.)

Do any of you have some advice for dealing with this invisible odor? Any Helpful Hints from Heloise? Tips from Susie Homemaker? No, seriously -- Susie! (the real one!) I bet you might know what to do! Tell me! Please?

The cupboard's been 409ed, Clorox Clean-Upped, and currently has an open box of baking soda stashed inside.

But I can still smell it, whatever it is. Just what, exactly, IS it??

Jujyfruit's Tale From the Crypt: The Legend of Stinky Hollow


Anonymous said...

Could you paint or clear coat the interior?

Jujyfruit said...

Yes, I might have to do that. It just sounds like so much work! I've been trying to think how I could spray paint with clear varnish (do they make such a thing?), but without getting the overspray on other surfaces. (In other words, with the least amount of effort, in as few steps as possible!)

Jujyfruit said...

And, by the way, YES, Susie -- I did mean YOU. I know I'm totally putting you on the spot here, but MOM'S IN CHINA and I need help from someone with lots of house-y tricks up her sleeve!

Don't be shy. We're all friends here! Pretty please?

(But if it comes to that, I'll just take your silence to mean I should go with the clear-coat option..., mmkay?)