Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I Have Discovered My Super Power! (Invisibly Busy, Part II)

Step right up, ladies & gentlemen! Don't be shy. This is something you won't want to miss. Prepare to be astonished & amazed with incredible tales of miraculous feats...

I have discovered my Super Power!

I've been hard at work the last few weeks, honing my newfound power to a razor-sharp point. And today I'm finally prepared to share the news with all of you.

I possess the power of invisibility: I can make things disappear.

I suspect you are going to find all of this pretty hard to believe, but I think you will become a believer when I show you the PROOF of these wild claims, right before your very eyes.

So what is the proof that I claim to have? Photos, people. 100% genuine, un-retouched photos. This is not trick photography. I don't even own Photoshop.

Look at the evidence and see for yourself.

Remember the poison ivy ? Well, it's gone. POOF!

The unsightly and hazardous power lines previously sagging low across the back yard are now invisible. Shazam!

Do you see what you can no longer see?!

The unnecessary poles and pipes were still visible after the power lines disappeared: but, Abracadabra -- now they're gone! (Along with an unnecessary chimney which vanished all the way from the floor of the basement to the top of the roof.)

(And, by the way? The hole in the roof caused by a fallen branch? It's gone, too.)

Next, I made the old cabinet in the master bathroom disappear!

Old One

And INSIDE the Old One...

No, seriously, that was inside. For realsies.

That was an impressive disappearing act, yes, but listen to this: I then made a sleek new one appear in its place. (I didn't even know I could do that!)


The seeping toilet with corresponding rotten floor, leaky sewer line, moldy mildew, and unrelenting stink -- vanished! Look:

Rot turned invisible!

And the hole created by that trick is gone, now, too. See?

Vanished Hole!

I've been fiddling with my Super Power in the kitchen, too. At first glance, things seem pretty much the same still...but if you look closely, you will see that one by one, items have been disappearing and reappearing all over the place.

Here are some "Before" and "After"* photos in which I have pointed out a few of the changes.





Once the refrigerator disappeared from its original spot, I decided to make some additional stuff vanish from another area, which would then provide space for a different fridge. Watch!

Original weird space...

...which all turned invisible...

...and then I made those holes disappear, too!

All the dirt & grimy corner crud in this house has VANISHED!

Oh, wait. Never mind. Seems it's, uh...back again. (gag)

Well, then. Moving right along!

The stairway leading to the basement had a very low ceiling that created a head-bumping hazard, so I employed my magic powers...and now it's invisible. See?

Now you see it...

...now you don't!

And let me tell you, my Super Powers are not limited to house-related things.

I've caused some hair to disappear, too! Behold!


So now that I have successfully proven my powers and established your belief, let me just say that the list goes on. I don't have photos handy, but I'm telling you, it's all true.

There is now invisible coolant inside the air conditioner, and the water heater's faulty switch is gone.
The puddle in the basement from the leaking sewer line has disappeared into thin air. Curtains have vanished throughout the house, and the leaves & acorns & branches typically blanketing the yard are presently absent.

The carpet stains are now invisible, and the boxes in my room can no longer be seen.

I just made a freshly-baked pan of cookies disappear.

And if there is any doubt remaining in some corner of your mind, let me point out that you haven't been able to catch even the briefest glimpse of me on this blog lately, no matter how hard you looked! I rest my case.

I'm telling you -- this invisibility stuff is amazing!

The only problem is that performing these jaw-dropping feats and maintaining such prolonged invisibility myself is quite strenuous; therefore, I need to bring The Super Power Show to a close.

So, for my closing act, I will be making some worrisome dead tree limbs disappear...

What? No, that truck is parked there by sheer coincidence.

...and then I will make my headache disappear, in one final Super Flourish!

Hey, look over there! (gulp)

And then I think it will be time to hang up my cape for a little while...


**For the record, "After" simply means after using my Power of Invisibility; my Decorating Powers have yet to be employed....! Bwahahaaaaaaa!

Jujyfruit: Rendering things invisible, one project at a time.

No comments: