Spring Cleaning

Hi. Today is February 27. I just posted something dated February 14. I did not edit the date or time on it. I simply wrote the last sentence and hit the "publish" button.

Why did it take 2 weeks to do that?

I don't know.

I happened to catch a bit of an Oprah show the other night where the guest suggested that physical clutter in your house = mental clutter in your mind. Well, I'm living proof of that! (Hello, guest! Come on in! Careful you don't trip over the clutter of my mind!)

It's spring cleaning time, folks.

In real life, our basement project is nearing completion. We are rearranging furniture, pulling out boxes that have been in storage these past months, hanging pictures on the wall, and sorting through those things that stay and those things that need to go.

In virtual life, I plan on pulling out drafts that have been in storage these past months, hanging new posts on the wall, and sorting through those links that stay and those that need to go.

So now that I've posted TWO times this morning, it's time to go do a house-related job. I'll be back.

Happy Birthentine's Day! (Get Well Soon!)

"Birthentine's Day" is a fairly rare holiday that occurs when one's birthday falls on Valentine's Day.

Even more rarely, sometimes the day before Birthentine's Day is also Friday the 13th.


And even MORE rarely, occasionally the Birthentiner has back surgery on Friday the 13th, Birthentine's Eve!

And VERY VERY MUCH MORE RARELY, that Birthentiner also is assigned to Room 13, with surgery scheduled to begin at 13:30 military time.

And RARELIEREST STILL, sometimes after surgery, the Birthentiner is able to wiggle the toes on his left foot, something he has been unable to do for the past 30 years!!! (Yes, 3 exclamation points. It's that big. I would put more but you might think I was joking. I'm not.)

This entire set of circumstances is so rare that if the above conditions are true, your name is Bob!

Happy Birthentine's Day, Bob!
Get Well Soon!

It's Genetic.

Sometimes I read one of my own posts and think, "Will anyone besides me actually find this amusing?" And then I remember, "Mom!"

I should clarify, though -- I'm not talking about her being amused in that Anything My Child Does Is Wonderful kind of way...because that's just not how it all actually works, right? (Right?? Or did I just fail another one of those Perfect Parent Tests?)

No, what I mean is that I think my sense of humor has a strong genetic component. I've got some pretty good photographic evidence, too, to show you what I mean.

While we were on vacation recently, mom stayed in our house with our kids. And after she left, I found some little surprises she left behind for me: random phrases she cut out of magazines and taped around the house. (I only wish I had thought of it first!)

Here are some of my favorites:

"It took you 15 minutes to decide what to wear this morning"
(discovered in my closet)

"Survive the 70's? You deserve special treatment"
(taped next to my moisturizers)

"You're tellin' me this little bad-boy will diffuse her dark circles & fine lines...SOLD!"
(attached to my eye cream)

"It's hard to find your litter box if you can hardly smell it."

(stuck to the the top of Junior's diaper pail)

"Gifts suck."
(taped under the sink next to the tampons)

"Stock or broth: what's the difference?"

(discovered on pantry shelf)
Bonus points because I actually asked this question at Christmas!

"Charging Station: A small tray, dressed up with a ribbon, is a tidy place to stow your phone, BlackBerry, or iPod."
(taped to charging station, along with dressy bow)

I keep thinking I might find some more notes any day now*; it's kind of energizing, like Christmas every day, randomly! She definitely knows how to strike my funny bone.

But though the notes were good evidence of some really strong genetic similarities between the two of us, I found other types of evidence that made it pretty clear I didn't inherit EVERYTHING from her....because she also CLEANED.

*****

*I actually worry there might be some sort of test involved here, and that there are certain notes hidden in nooks & crannies, or under piles, or on cleaning products that I won't find until I do the exact same cleaning myself! And then if I mention discovering a note like that months from now, she'll know precisely how much time has passed in between cleanings! IS IT? Mom, am I right??

On This Episode of Jujley's Believe It Or Not!...Obama, My Mom, The Numbers 82 and 15.3, Balminess, Thievery, and The Lone Fox

Subtitle:

"Wednesday's Random Week in Review, Because Time & Space Have Little Meaning Around Here"
-OR-
"How Perfectly Normal Mid-Week Posts Sometimes Start Out Just Fine But Then Plummet Towards Bizarre"
-OR-
"Seriously, Jujy, Don't You Have a Load of Laundry You Should Be Doing or Something??"

Ok. Quick recap of Monday first.

My mom and uncle were among the lucky few who were able to score tickets to see President Obama at Monday's Town Hall Meeting, right close by in little ol' Elkhart, Indiana. This is Obama's first such appearance since his inauguration, and the fact that he came here, of all places, is an oddity in itself.

Why did Obama come here, to OurTown, USA? Because of this:

The Elkhart and Goshen area recorded the largest jump in December unemployment figures in the United States, according to data released this morning by the federal government.

Elkhart-Goshen had an unemployment rate of 15.3 percent in December 2008, up from 4.7 percent in December 2007.

Yep, that's right. I now live in the official Recession Capital of the Nation. Which is not funny.

But here's something that IS funny -- for some reason, Obama singled out my mom to come up on the stage and pose for photos!! And then, on Tuesday morning, one of those photos ended up on the front page of the newspaper!

See?
Ok, I totally made that part up. (With a little help from myinauguralphoto.com!)

But, seriously, she DID end up on the front page photo of one of the local on-line news articles with coverage about the visit. Well, sort of.

See?
The yellow arrow points to my actual uncle in the bottom corner of the photo. The blue arrow points to my virtual mom who was, in fact, directly beside him.

And the two of them were also spotted on the televised local news coverage of the event.

See?So now, not only is my mom on Facebook*, but she's also practically famous! Odd, eh?

OK, next oddity!

Here's another headline from Tuesday's news:
Less than a month ago, it was 80 degrees colder outside than it was on Tuesday, (-19 degrees on January 16, and 62 degrees February 10).

Do you see that? EIGHTY degrees warmer?! That's odd, I tell you! (Especially when you consider that it is still chilly enough out for jackets and sweatshirts and there are patches of snow still on the ground; I mean, we're not talking summer here, folks!)

Next oddity:
There was a red fox running around our neighborhood today. That's right, a single red fox! I saw it off and on for about an hour, and even followed it around the neighborhood at one point. I never had my camera with me when I saw it, unfortunately, but the story is true! True and odd!

photo source (since I didn't have my camera!)

And if all that was not enough to give you pause, how about THIS: I was just informed that as I was sitting here typing this -- right inside the front window of my house -- money was stolen out of the construction worker's vehicle parked in our driveway, less than 30 feet away! And I saw NOTHING!

...AND THEN, right after I learned about the mysterious thievery, the phone rang -- with a caller ID of 999-999-9999! -- and the Fraternal Order of Police asked me to make a donation!

Seriously, folks, I can't make this stuff up!** (I mean besides that one little picture, of course.)

What is going on here?

Was it the fox?! Mere coinkydink? Conspiracy?? Are we being targeted? Do The Others want revenge? Should Hurley change his lottery ticket to 15.3 - 80 - 30 - 999 - 999 - 9999 - 48?

Because that's an impressive list of oddities for a 48-hour period in one sleepy little town, isn't it?
Discuss!

And join us again for future episodes of Jujley's Believe It...Or Not!

*****

*Oh, hi, mom! Just kidding there! And can you still babysit tomorrow night? KThxBai!

** Well, actually, I could. Pretty easily. BUT I DIDN'T!

Domo's Big Adventure!

Guess what? My fingers are finally thawed enough to type! Now I can regale you with glorious stories of my sunny vacation...hopefully in a way that just makes you happy for me, or makes you smile vicariously; NOT in a way that makes you seethe with jealousy and want to kick me in the shin.

Boy, this could be difficult.

OK, here's an idea: I think I will let someone else tell about the week. That way you won't exactly picture ME at the other end of this unfair-yet-glorious jackpot of golden luck! Plus also you won't be haunted by pictures of me in my bikini.*

When we left for our trip, I kidnapped the little Domo guy off my son's dresser and left a note in his place. The note was written to my son from Domo himself, and it explained that he was sneaking into my suitcase to go off and see the world. (...but that OF COURSE he would be coming back because he LOVES living here!)

So, Domo ended up in Mexico and had quite an adventure. In the spirit of Flat Stanley, or, more currently, Bathroom Gangsta,we took lots of pictures and e-mailed some back while we were gone so the kids could see what Domo was up to.

I've put the photos into a little movie to tell all about Domo's vacation. Enjoy!



******

*OK, technically there is ONE partial picture of me like that. But there is no bikini. I kid about the bikini! I haven't even owned one since 1988!! (And, actually, those pictures would probably be postable. But you might not recognize me.) But these days? Well, these days a nice, modest tankini -- with skirt! -- bares plenty enough. I guess you might call it a momkini.

Back to the Real World

I just got back from vacation. I was here:

...and now I'm back here:
(sigh)