Thursday, July 3, 2008

That's Quite a Belt You've Got There, Mister

Before my daughter left for camp, I mentioned wanting to buy her a fanny pack to take along. Well, let me tell you, that got some laughs. As well as a recommendation to go "look in the 80s".

But I maintained that it would be really fabulous because a)she could carry her camera, sunglasses, chapstick, etc. on hikes, b)keep her hands free, and c)not lose anything! Fanny packs may not be the most fashionable accessory, but I'm sort of admiring the genius of them again. (Shhh! Don't tell anyone.)

I found one, brand spanking new on a store shelf, believe it or not! And if you should decide to purchase such a handy little pouch, here are a few things you should know.

First of all, "Fanny Pack" is no longer in use (the WORD I mean -- quit laughing!). "Belt Bag" is the current politically correct term.

And secondly, less important, but perhaps even more shocking -- You can now buy them with a belt that expands UP TO 60 INCHES! I kid you not.

I guess they figure that if your waist measurement is bigger than that, you're probably not going to be hiking anywhere.

I couldn't picture exactly how big 60 inches is, though, so I googled "60 inch diameter". Let me show you what it looks like. (links provide photo credits)

This table.

The platform on this tower.

Possibly one of these hay bales.

And here's an interesting fact: there aren't even many Santa suits that will fit a 60-inch waist, but I did find this place that carries an XXXL that would just fit.

Remember several weeks ago when Japan issued new rules for waistline measurements of 33.5 inches for men and 35.4 inches for women? I don't think we'll be exporting too many of these expandable fanny packs belt bags over there!

But as far as wearing them here, on our average-sized selves, well...if you should decide to buy one, I promise not to laugh!


Penny L. Richards said...

Oh weird, this is the SECOND funny fanny-pack blog post I've read this week--here's the other one:

Anonymous said...

Next task for you, Julie -- go put that fanny belt pack bag around the 60 inch items you googled and show us the pics.

I really need to see a fanny packed bale o' hay.

I lauhged out loud at this post, and now I have the boys hovering around and wondering what a fanny pack is, and why it's funny.


jujyfruit said...

What a funny idea, Rachel! But of course the fanny pack -- er, belt bag -- is in Colorado, happily belted around the waist of my daughter. (Who didn't realize they were funny, either, by the way!)

Sure wish I knew PhotoShop -- I could have some serious fanny pack fun with that!!