Regretful? No.... Disheartened? Yes.

We got the keys to the new house tonight, so took the kids over for a little walk-through and family house-warming party.

I looked up "House Cleansing" and various and sundry other New House Blah-di-blah Traditions and made up a list of things I decided we would do the night before our big move. I had a whole little ceremony planned for our family that included bits and pieces from a variety of cultures and traditions, all Jujyfruitized appropriately.

For example, we followed the feng shui recommendation to boil water for tea and rice so we could share a meal together...by bringing Happy Meals from McDonald's to eat picnic-style on the floor of our new home. (Get it? HAPPY Meals, which add an attitudinal statement in addition to paying homage to the tradition of food and fellowship first. Plus? Easy.)

We dried sage today (in the microwave -- again with the Jujyfruitized version) and brought a stick of cedar (from my husband's siding company!) to burn and we "smudged" the house, as a nod to rituals the Native Americans have long used to cleanse and protect.

We brought a live plant to the house, to symbolize new life and growth. What's more, the plant was a pot of mint dug from my brother's yard for the kids to transplant in our new yard, so there was the added symbolism of family and connections and roots which grow and prosper and spread.

We each had tiny candles to carry from room to room as together we spread the "house-warming glow" and offered prayers and hopes and dreams to be carried up in the smoke (a Thai tradition).

I had a bottle of wine (a Jujyfruit tradition) with which to toast the future. (I came across the wine today as I was packing up the kitchen, and noticed the Turning Leaf label. Now I realize this may not be the fanciest of wines, but the label jumped out at me because we are in the process of turning over a new leaf! Auspicious, yes? So the wine became a part of the bag o' house-warming stuff, too.)

Bubbs had his special rock and lucky key along for the ceremony.

We had our positive attitudes. I told everyone that I read that all negative energy (e.g., bickering, criticizing, pessimism) should be left outside the front door, as we were entering our new home for a fresh start and wanted it to be positive.

Now, you know what they say about good intentions....

The kids were more interested in their Happy Meal toys than in my little inspirational talk about how we can change anything we want in this house -- from wallpaper and walls themselves, to who we are and who we want to become, both individually AND as a family. I encouraged them to focus on their goals and dreams and picture what they wanted to achieve while we live there.

The kids silently chewed while staring at the fast food bag, played with the beeping R2-D2 toy, and scooted around the floor while dragging a cheeseburger behind, respectively. (I'll let you guess which kid did what.)

My inspiring talk ended when chocolate milk sprayed all over my left calf.

Then, also, the sage kept dropping burning bits on the floors. The candles worked well until suddenly dripping hot wax on our fingers. Yes, the shouting, stomping pain literally went from person to person in the order we had lit them, mere seconds apart. The Meaningful Wine was greatly appreciated, but we had two vehicles to drive back to our old house, so we didn't drink much of it. Junior shattered two of the little glass candle holders on the driveway, had TWO separate stinky diapers, and someone else (who shall remain unnamed, BUT IT WASN'T ME!) had an urgent bathroom call also, in this empty house with no toilet paper!

Now, let me just take a moment to say that I tried so, so, SO hard to focus on the good things and stay really positive...because those incidents I mentioned above really aren't that abnormal. I mean, I didn't consider them omens, or anything: that's just pretty much how we roll.

But the thing that I had a really hard time with was the house itself. I was making a conscious effort to only bring my best self in, but -- gag! -- the house is dirty!!

I'm talking grime and gunk in every corner. I'm talking cobwebs you could lay an egg on. I'm talking PEE & PUBES ON THE TOILET!! Stinky, yucky, DIRTY! (Put it this way: when Junior kept setting his cheeseburger on the carpet during our Feng Shui picnic, I was worried about the cheeseburger instead of the carpet!)

I was (am) so discouraged. I didn't have the sellers pegged for the neat overachieving type, so wasn't completely surprised...but seriously, don't you at least SWEEP THE DAMN FLOOR before you leave??

Guess I'm mad, too, eh? (And apparently this glass of Meaningful Wine I brought back to the old house to guzzle helps the anger bubble to the surface ever-so-smoothly. (Until it begins to froth and boil and crash to the surface in an unstoppable tsunami of bitterness, that is!)

I really thought seeing the house WITHOUT all the sellers' stuff would make me feel even more secure in our purchase...but instead I am freaking out.

I know, I KNOW -- very few people actually live in their dream house, and it's fine if I'm not, either. (And this new home is a pretty safe bet. I mean, WORST case scenario -- we decide we don't like living there, we fix it up, sell it in a few years,... I KNOW we could make money on it. It would sell, because it has a great location and tons of potential.)

But the house really needs some TLC, and my T is all dried up for the month, and my L is directed elsewhere at the moment, and I frankly don't C tonight.

I was so excited earlier today...and now I'm just tired.

OK. I have vented. The Meaningful Wine is helping my vision of the future to reappear. (It's also helping my eyes to droop, and making me yearn for bed.)

It will be fine. Really, it will. This move is a good thing.

Not an EASY thing, but a GOOD thing.

It's just like I told the kids -- we can change anything in our new place.

Right?!?