Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Name That Pharmaceutical!

And now it's time to play a little game I like to call Name That Pharmaceutical!

Contestants ready?

Here's your first clue:

It's not a vitamin. It's not an aspirin. The flip side, very curiously, simply says "Dan Dan".

Anybody have a guess?

No? Well, then, here's your second clue:

And if you're still stumped, here's your third and final clue:

If you answered "What is Prednisone?" then you are a winner! (cue confetti)

Apparently we have a wee bit o' poison ivy growing around the edges of our yard. It's actually SO IMPRESSIVELY LARGE that it doesn't even look like poison ivy...but trust me, IT IS.

And if one should happen to be playing catch, and if the ball should happen to land in the nether regions of our yard, and if one should happen to retrieve the ball and then proceed to rub one's eye and scratch one's ear, then one is likely to need a strong course of Prednisone to relieve the swollen, itchy, infected areas...

...especially if this situation were to occur right before school picture day!

Just ask my oldest son. He'll readily concur.

"Say cheese!"


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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Ugly Mug Coffee (A Fun Way to Start Your Day!)

How about a break from all that house business? It's time for another Product Review!

I was scanning the grocery store shelves for my usual brand of coffee, when something new caught my eye. The bag was attractive, the description was witty, and it was packaged with a handy metal clip on top! I was immediately hooked and bought my first bag of Ugly Mug coffee. (Excellent job, marketing department! I give you an A+.)

Forget about reading the back of your cereal box in the morning -- you need to read this bag of coffee!

Here's the front, with its inspired metal clip...

...here's one side...

...and the other side (gotta love the bedhead)...


...and the back, with a description that sealed the deal for me.

I came home and googled these guys, because my curiosity was piqued. There is a great website at uglymugcoffee.com, again very impressive for its marketing, but also because of the company's history and mission and genuine likability factor.

Plus there is even a place to send in your own personal bedhead photos! I mean, really -- do you have any idea how much I love a crazy detail like that?

For those of you who have not yet HAD your morning coffee, and therefore find it too overwhelming to go check the place out for yourselves or to follow this link to view more catchy ads, I will paste a couple examples here.

and

So how does the coffee TASTE? Well,...like coffee! But I'm afraid that it isn't the best coffee I've ever had. I WANT to love this stuff. I really really want to.

But if I'm totally honest, the "First Cup" blend I tried tastes a little dusty.

My solution was to make it extra strong, and then add so much cream and sugar that it was impossible NOT to love it. But I can't drink mugs of warm coffee-flavored ice cream every morning.

Is there anyone out there who can recommend a different blend of Ugly Mug for me to try? A bold, rich, buttery blend? One that tickles my coffee bone AND my tastebuds?

I would love to be able to fully endorse this stuff.

Seriously -- I even have my photo ready!

For the time being, I give Ugly Mug Coffee an overall rating of 3 Jujyfruits...though I truly hope I find a reason to raise that to a solid 5 some day!

Ugly Mug Coffee: 3 Jujyfruits

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Saturday, September 20, 2008

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! (That's the Fruity Battle Cry)

I would like to take a moment to state once again, for the record, how incredibly frustrated I am by my internet connection at this new house!

That last post? That long-awaited, silly, unimportant glop of drivel that I finally dumped on a plate and offered up to you, my faithful readers? Took an unbelievably loooooooooong time to produce.

My "quick little idea" turned into an agonizing 3-day Battle of Will, filled with lost links, unsaved changes, frozen screens, and computer re-starts.

And while the original idea may have lost a bit of its fresh-fruit scent by the end (I did concede defeat on several issues), I am thrilled to announce that I WON!!

I was hoping to remain undefeated this season, but according to my official scorekeeping records, this latest victory brings the current tally to Jujyfruit: 2 - Verizon: 5.

(Unless you also count the posts which were fully composed in my head that Verizon refused to extract via direct brain uplink....which would actually bring the tally closer to Jujyfruit: 2 - Verizon: 86. But Verizon claims it's "not really fair" to include those. Whatever.)

Now that I have completed my endzone victory dance, however, I am dismayed to discover that my previously undisputed win was tainted. That entry posted without the final changes, full of typos and incorrect words and stuff that is really bugging me...and yet my blogger account claims that the post technically DOES NOT EXIST. That's right: although the post is available online to the public-at-large, I am personally unable to access it.

Which begs the age-old question, "If a blog posts in the forest, and nobody is there to edit it, does it make a sound?"

(And also, "Is it time to run my virus detector?")

I really don't know what's going on here, but I am gonna count it as a victory nonetheless!

So, please to ignore the typos and posits.

The one thing I DO know is, it ain't over yet, folks! I'm stubborn by nature (and people love to root for the underdog, right?) so come on out and show your support. It's gonna be an exciting season, chock full of drama and intrigue.

It's like Must-See-TV, but with computers! And reading!

And now I've lost track of my metaphors...was this about sports or season premieres?

Aw, like it matters. (sigh) Verizon's just gonna post what it wants to, anyway.

Testing, tErstiNg, 1 - 2 - 3#3#3#33333333!@#

Tap, Tap. (Am I on?)


**Jujyfruit: Not quite as fresh, but equally nutritious**

Friday, September 19, 2008

Fruity Tutorial: An Introduction to Corners

Good morning, class!

Today we are going to learn about a very important thing called CORNERS.

Do you know what corners are?

Yes -- you in the back! The one wth the feed reader. Go ahead! (And speak loudly so everyone else can hear you.)
Um, no, I'm sorry...that's not actually a corner.

Let's see. Anyone else?

How about you? Yes, you -- the lurker over there in the corner, lingering near the comments section. Do you know what a corner is?


Oh!

I see. Well, I understand why you were hiding now, but, no, I'm sorry -- that's not a corner, either.

THESE are corners:


When will you ever use this information in real life, you doubtfully ask? Well, I'm getting to posit that unless you live in one of these, you need to know about corners.

(photo)


Because most houses HAVE corners, you see. That's right, wherever you see edges and angles meeting, you are likely to find a corner.


Because if you don't know about corners, and then you go and sell your house, and the new people who move in DO know...well, there are bound to be some sticky areas in that transaction.

Some hairy, crumb-filled, cob-webbed, sticky areas.

Like this.

And this.
Or this.
And even this.

Now that last particular example of a corner comes from a window sill.

It's very important to remember, class, that each window actually has FOUR corners. And so, IF (hypothetically speaking), one's new house has 26 main windows, then there are actually 104 corners just like that one -- from the windows alone!

On the inside.

And rooms? Why, rooms have AT LEAST four corners...but often times there are more than four.

Many, many, MANY more!


So please, students, PLEASE think about what we have discussed here today.

It's time to educate ourselves, and to think about corners for a change. Each and every one of you has the ability to truly make a difference -- not only for today, but also for the future!

Let's clean up this great nation of ours, one corner at a time.


Friday, September 5, 2008

This Is the House That Jujy Bought (Mother Goose Revisited)


This is a pile
That lay in the house that Jujy bought.


This is the tub
That used the tile(!!), stacked in a pile,
That lay in the house that Jujy bought.


This is the pot
That matches the tub,
That used the tile, stacked in a pile,
That lay in the house that Jujy bought.


This is a shoe
That was scrubbed in the tub, all hideous pink,
That matches the pot (and also the sink),
That used the tile, stacked in a pile,
That lay in the house that Jujy bought.


This was a log that was left by the dog,
That got the shoe all covered in poo,
That was scrubbed in the tub, all hideous pink,
That matches the pot (and also the sink),
That used the tile, stacked in a pile,
That lay in the house that Jujy bought.


This is Jujy, cursing and hot!
'Cause she stepped on the log that was left by the dog
That got the shoe all covered in poo,
That was scrubbed in the tub, all hideous pink,
That matches the pot (and also the sink),
That used the tile, stacked in a pile,
That lay in the house that Jujy bought.


This is the yard, with many a tree
That brings peace to Jujy, though cursing and hot
From scrubbing the filth off shoe, tub, and pot,
Who stepped in the log left by the dog,
That got the shoe all covered in poo,
That was scrubbed in the tub, all hideous pink,
That matches the pot (and also the sink),
That used the tile, stacked in a pile,
That lay in the house that Jujy bought.


This is the family, content as can be
That loves their new yard with many a tree,
Where it's peaceful as far as the eye can see,
(riddled with poo, though it may be)
That surrounds our new home,
That we all love a lot,
That brings joy to Jujy (not cursing or hot),
Who scrubbed the filth off of shoe, tub, and pot
When she stepped in the log left by the dog,
That got the shoe all covered in poo,
That was scrubbed in the tub, all hideous pink,
That matches the pot (and also the sink),
That used the tile, stacked in a pile,
That lay in the house that Jujy bought.